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Paul Davidson
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Consumer Joe: Harassing Corporate America, One Letter at a Time Paperback – September 9, 2003

by Paul Davidson (Author)
2.9 out of 5 stars 29 ratings
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In the bestselling tradition of The Lazlow Letters and Letters from a Nut, screenwriter Paul Davidson has been firing off humble but humorous letters to Fortune 500 companies to find answers to such hot-button questions like why hasn’t Minute Maid begun to sell an all pulp, juice-free product yet, and whether it’s safe to microwave a bowl of Marshmallow Fluff on high for ten minutes. And the funny thing is . . . consumer-care departments everywhere have been writing back to him, addressing his queries with deadpan seriousness.

Collecting dozens of selections from Davidson’s funniest correspondence, Consumer Joe uncovers why a box of fifty envelopes only contained forty-seven and how colorblind people are supposed to tell whether their Ziploc baggies (“yellow and blue makes green”) are properly sealed, while making numerous product-improvement suggestions along the way (such as adding Tuna Melt flavor to the Jamba Juice product line).

Taking aim at the increasingly advertising-sponsored society, Consumer Joe features utterly absurd but irresistible missives to companies ranging from Barnes & Noble and Fed-Ex to Southwest Airlines and Taco Bell. Full of kvetches we all can relate to, Consumer Joe is poised to become the patron saint of every beleaguered shopper.

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  1. Print length
    212 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    Broadway
  4. Publication date
    September 9, 2003
  5. Dimensions
    7.34 x 0.58 x 9.13 inches
  6. ISBN-10
    076791502X
  7. ISBN-13
    978-0767915021
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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

This compendium of oddball customer query and complaint letters should tickle the ribs of anyone who's ever considered writing a letter to protest an inferior product or solve a merchandise mystery (e.g., why are Wendy's hamburgers square?). Hollywood writer Davidson, working under the pseudonym David Paulson, reprints some 100 letters he wrote to American companies, as well their representatives' responses to his rather unusual comments and requests. His letter to the Jamba Juice Corporation suggests new flavors (tuna melt, Thanksgiving Dinner) to supplement their popular healthy shots. "I can't quite understand how people are able to swallow that Wheat Grass stuff you grind up for them," he writes. "It tastes like you fell on your face in a game of soccer and just happened to have your mouth open." After Jamba writes back, expressing appreciation for his creativity and their immediate testing of his "concoctions," he follows up with another letter in which he recommends publicizing their products through an activity on Fear Factor. Other pranks include sending a five dollar bill to a "Sir or Madam" at RadioShack ("I was handed it by an elderly customer...I had believed it was stolen from an open cash register"), for which he receives a thoughtful reply and two "$10.00 'Customer Appreciation Dollars'"; harassing Ben &Jerry's ("We're sorry to hear that you are seeing a psychologist because you haven't heard from us about your flavor suggestion," their letter reads); and asking the Marshmallow Fluff folks if "nuking it in the microwave for 10 minutes and then freezing it" will make a marshmallow ice-cream pop (it won't). Highbrow humor it ain't, but it is certainly, as Davidson himself puts it, "damn good bathroom reading."
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Review

"I couldn't put it down. Some of the funniest writing since 'Seinfeld'."
-Jerry Stiller

"It's hard to know which are funnier: Paul Davidson's facetious letters to Fortune 500 companies or the corporate stooges' equally clueless replies. Read Consumer Joe yourself and decide."
-Andy Borowitz, humorist for The New Yorker and author of Who Moved My Soap? The CEO's Guide to Surviving in Prison

"Hilarious. Paul Davidson razzes corporate America with the swift sword of Michael Moore, the energy of Richard Simmons, the wit of Seinfeld and the grace of Gilligan. From all-pulp orange juice to plucking his unibrow, this book will have you laughing out loud...at least until you realize just what kind of country we live in. Then of course, you'll want to take it on the plane when you make your exile."
-Gwen Macsai, Author of "Lipshtick", NPR Contributor, Creator of ABC's "What About Joan"

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Broadway
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ September 9, 2003
  • Edition ‏ : ‎ 1st
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 212 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 076791502X
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0767915021
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 13.6 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 7.34 x 0.58 x 9.13 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    2.9 out of 5 stars 29 ratings

About the author

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Paul Davidson

Paul Davidson

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Paul Davidson is an entertainment executive in Hollywood who also manages to find time to be a producer, screenwriter and four-time published author. Along the way he ran the digital entertainment division at a major tech company in Seattle whose name may or may not rhyme with Sycrosoft.

He lampooned corporate America in his first book Consumer Joe: Harassing Corporate America, One Letter at a Time and imagined what the world would have been like if historical figures had been able to blog in The Lost Blogs: From Jesus to Jim Morrison.

Most recently, he released his debut fiction novel The Small Stuff which Publisher’s Weekly called a “quirky debut rom-com” that was “sure to stick in readers’ minds.”

His writing has been featured in Wired, the Los Angeles Times and Mental Floss and he also hosts the film commentary podcast The Side Track.

Paul lives in Los Angeles with his wife, two daughters and an emotionally needy dog.

Customer reviews

2.9 out of 5 stars
29 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book's humor very funny, making them laugh out loud. Moreover, they enjoy the letters and replies, with one customer describing it as a hilarious collection. However, the print size receives negative feedback, with several customers noting it's too small to read.

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HumorEnjoymentPrint size
6 customers mention "Humor"6 positive0 negative

Customers enjoy the book's humor, finding it very funny and making them laugh out loud, with one customer noting its tongue-in-cheek style.

"...With intelligent, tongue in cheek humor, the author corresponds with some of the biggest corporations in America...." Read more

"The questions and their responses were funny, but hard to read on an iPod. Would rather read on computer or dead tree version." Read more

"...Very funny and easy to read. Make you laugh out loud and say "did someone really complain about that?"..." Read more

"...Joe has been harrassing them! This is a funny book, but difficult to read on a Kindle as the letters are images of the sent/received letters...." Read more

3 customers mention "Enjoyment"3 positive0 negative

Customers find the letters in the book entertaining, with one describing them as a hilarious collection.

"I found myself enjoying this collection of letters, for the most part. The print was extremely small, and did cause a few troubles for me...." Read more

"I suppose many of the letters and replies are entertaining and perhaps hilarious considering the subject and the stupidity of Corporate America...." Read more

"This is a hilarious collection of letters by the author sent to major corporations in America...." Read more

10 customers mention "Print size"0 positive10 negative

Customers find the print size of the book too small, making it difficult to read, particularly on Kindle Fire 8" devices.

"...Each page of the Kindle edition of this book is a tiny image, and the print is about .3 size. Increasing the font size has no effect whatsoever!..." Read more

"...The print was extremely small, and did cause a few troubles for me. I received a small burn on the tip of my nose, much like a sunburn...." Read more

"The questions and their responses were funny, but hard to read on an iPod. Would rather read on computer or dead tree version." Read more

"...The letter print is so tiny that this book is entirely unreadable. There is no ability to zoom in to read the print...." Read more

Top reviews from the United States

  • California Customer
    1.0 out of 5 stars Don't read on a Kindle Touch!
    Reviewed in the United States on July 10, 2013
    Format: KindleVerified Purchase
    Based on the reviews, I was anticipating belly laughs, but instead, I got a huge case of eye strain. Each page of the Kindle edition of this book is a tiny image, and the print is about .3 size. Increasing the font size has no effect whatsoever! The landscape view is even smaller.

    Update: I contacted the customer service department and they not only offered me a refund or credit, they described how I could zoom in on the image. I received excellent customer service - their reply came within hours.
    Helpful
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  • G. Welch
    5.0 out of 5 stars Laugh out loud
    Reviewed in the United States on January 29, 2014
    Format: KindleVerified Purchase
    This is the quirkiest book I've come across in a long time. With intelligent, tongue in cheek humor, the author corresponds with some of the biggest corporations in America. The responses from these mega-companies are, at times, hysterical revealing just how seriously they take themselves.
    One person found this helpful
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  • Chris
    3.0 out of 5 stars I liked it.
    Reviewed in the United States on September 6, 2013
    Format: KindleVerified Purchase
    I found myself enjoying this collection of letters, for the most part. The print was extremely small, and did cause a few troubles for me. I received a small burn on the tip of my nose, much like a sunburn. This was due, I believe, to reading with the lighted e-device so close to my face. I squinted a great deal,as well. My wife mistook me for Gilbert Godfrey at one point, and nearly beat me to death with a hair dryer. Why she would believe that Mr. Godfrey would ever be sitting on our toilet, reading an e- device, I can not explain. A good book though.
    One person found this helpful
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  • wannabe1987
    4.0 out of 5 stars alright book
    Reviewed in the United States on July 9, 2013
    Format: KindleVerified Purchase
    The questions and their responses were funny, but hard to read on an iPod. Would rather read on computer or dead tree version.
    Helpful
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  • Reader
    1.0 out of 5 stars Unreadable on Kindle Fire 8"9
    Reviewed in the United States on July 6, 2013
    Format: KindleVerified Purchase
    The pages in this book are scanned copies of the original letters. The letter print is so tiny that this book is entirely unreadable. There is no ability to zoom in to read the print. Even free this book is too costly because it is a waste of your time if you try to read it on a kindle 8"9.
    One person found this helpful
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  • Kindle Customer
    2.0 out of 5 stars Consumer Je
    Reviewed in the United States on August 21, 2013
    Format: KindleVerified Purchase
    I suppose many of the letters and replies are entertaining and perhaps hilarious considering the subject and the stupidity of Corporate America. I would have enjoyed reading them..... however....... I ordered this on my Kindle Fire and the print is so ridiculously small and close together I couldn't even enlarge them to a readable size. I imagine that a person with normal eyesight would have a difficult time but for someone who is sight impaired like myself it made it impossible to enjoy.
    Helpful
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  • K. Irek
    5.0 out of 5 stars Funny!
    Reviewed in the United States on February 1, 2010
    Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
    Purchased as a gift and it went over quite well. Very funny and easy to read. Make you laugh out loud and say "did someone really complain about that?" Great pick me up when the stresses of life are too much.
    Helpful
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  • Edward Kaplan
    1.0 out of 5 stars Could not read the tiny type.
    Reviewed in the United States on July 15, 2013
    Format: KindleVerified Purchase
    I like the concept behind this book. I'm a consummate letter writer myself. The problem is the type is too small to read on my 7" Fire. I can't enlarge the page and even the largest font size isn't legible.
    Helpful
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